tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37318098747209686922024-03-19T06:18:04.364-04:00Intentionally simpleBecause complexity just makes us tired.Jimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14978393576972539455noreply@blogger.comBlogger129125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3731809874720968692.post-35572227107344246152012-02-23T14:21:00.000-05:002012-02-23T14:21:26.579-05:00Five Years<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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It was a lovely fifth birthday with Drew and Garrett yesterday. Jim was able to take the day off work, and so we were both able to join the boys for their celebration at school, which was quite special. They were so excited to be able to go to school on their "actual birthday!", and we were excited to be there with them, to take part, and to have the chance to get a peek into this part of their lives that has been mostly <i>theirs</i>. Jim and I enjoyed a nice couple hours together while Garrett and Drew finished their day, then it was off to the park for rolling and jumping and other such fun. After that, home for a whirlwind dinner, CAKE! and presents, then off to bed for all...</div>
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These boys are beautiful, maddening, amazing, exasperating, full of life and mystery, and we love them so very much. Who can believe that they have become so big so soon? And it is good.</div>anniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01665192643093015110noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3731809874720968692.post-44030461290147960742011-11-01T20:09:00.003-04:002011-11-01T20:32:17.271-04:00A Moment of Peace<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLkzfk7RYM9WKvLYoipWgw-ElBn2TjUPFuHnoGiYJmio8LAC64mEaWwBTP2uoAhkzGX96kluKmgePE7vrCmnkjVZE38HO_llAlqfi9ay1_wF0yYfa7uoUTWN46tQ6oHI53tQprdY2IexZw/s1600/11.1.11+025.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLkzfk7RYM9WKvLYoipWgw-ElBn2TjUPFuHnoGiYJmio8LAC64mEaWwBTP2uoAhkzGX96kluKmgePE7vrCmnkjVZE38HO_llAlqfi9ay1_wF0yYfa7uoUTWN46tQ6oHI53tQprdY2IexZw/s400/11.1.11+025.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5670184454959036370" border="0" /></a>Yesterday was a rough day. Lately I've been looking forward to <a href="http://demkos.blogspot.com/2011/10/mondays.html">Mondays</a>. We take our time, finding our own grooves as we go through the day; starting slow, going our own ways, coming back together, more often than not in a smooth flow with only minor bumps along the way. Yesterday, not so much. <br /><br />We've been fighting some lingering crud that kept the boys out of school most of last week and laid a bit low over the weekend, myself included. Cabin fever and perhaps just a little too much uninterrupted togetherness combined with the crankiness of not feeling well had us at odds and unable to find our grooves like usual (to put it gently). <br /><br />After a long and exhausting day of angry words, raised voices and too many battles, I realized something: it was quiet. While I was rushing around the kitchen, Drew and Garrett had grabbed a big storybook, cleared off the rocker, and climbed up together. There they sat, in the late afternoon sun, squeezed together, book on their lap, Garrett rocking and "reading" stories to Drew. It was a small miracle. It was lovely. It was the best ten minutes of the day.anniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01665192643093015110noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3731809874720968692.post-85539512768514126812011-10-24T06:00:00.004-04:002011-10-24T06:00:03.058-04:00Food Day<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiznH3Mo8K2fapyRbECZELMFdbVrD-jj7whhtqrJZqqPtt3eVKqsYQfc4jEqhyphenhyphenXKIOGbVqCDRDlvnq5DNv-V1kwF4Wb6jrdopA7yyuiIxRnu1BOJVgo9WRfq_htr8zNUNhb-JxnqpyjqEiL/s1600/FoodDay_logoStacked.png"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 272px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiznH3Mo8K2fapyRbECZELMFdbVrD-jj7whhtqrJZqqPtt3eVKqsYQfc4jEqhyphenhyphenXKIOGbVqCDRDlvnq5DNv-V1kwF4Wb6jrdopA7yyuiIxRnu1BOJVgo9WRfq_htr8zNUNhb-JxnqpyjqEiL/s400/FoodDay_logoStacked.png" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5666035726051665586" border="0" /></a><br />Today is <a href="http://www.foodday.org/">Food Day</a> - a day to promote awareness of and advocate for real food: locally and sustainably grown and raised products and equality of distribution and availability of good, healthy food for all.<br /><br />There are so many reasons why support for sustainably grown and raised food from local farmers is vitally important: economic, environmental, health-related, community-building, hunger and equality/access to fresh foods, and so on... Our current system of industrial food production is entirely unsustainable, unrealistic and unjust and these problems are not contained in the agricultural system, their effects are wide ranging. You can find some great basic information on the Food Day website, and below I've listed some additional resources I've found helpful.<br /><br />There is a lot to be done to change the current food system, but there are great strides and exciting things happening throughout the country and especially in our area at a local, sustainable, small farm level: from farmers markets to <a href="http://www.cvcountryside.org/food/food-policy-council-local.php">local food policy councils</a>, to growing numbers of small farms to greater availability of fresh local foods in grocery stores and restaurants, and more.<br /><br />So take a moment to check out <a href="http://www.foodday.org/">Food Day's site</a> and learn more about the issue(s), find some sources of local food close to you, and pay attention today where the food you're eating came from, and what implications that might have. Eat local and fresh if you can, and enjoy how good it tastes!<br /><br /><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Bringing-Table-Farming-Wendell-Berry/dp/158243543X/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1319227182&sr=1-1">Bringing It to The Table</a> <span style="font-style: italic;">by Wendell Berry</span><br /><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Omnivores-Dilemma-Natural-History-Meals/dp/0143038583/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1319227208&sr=1-1">Omnivore's Dilemma</a> <span style="font-style: italic;">by Michael Pollan<span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><br /></span></span></span></span><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Botany-Desire-Plants-Eye-View-World/dp/0375760393/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1319227239&sr=1-1">Botany of Desire</a><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-style: italic;"> by Michael Pollan</span></span></span></span><br /><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Animal-Vegetable-Miracle-Year-Food/dp/0060852569/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1319227276&sr=1-1">Animal, Vegetable, Miracle</a> <span style="font-style: italic;">by Barbara Kingsolver</span><br /><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Food-Politics-Influences-Nutrition-California/dp/0520254031/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1319227331&sr=1-1">Food Politics</a> <span style="font-style: italic;">by Marion Nestle</span><br /><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Fast-Food-Nation-Dark-All-American/dp/0060838582/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1319227358&sr=1-1">Fast Food Nation</a> <span style="font-style: italic;">by Eric Schlosser</span><br /><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Deeply-Rooted-Unconventional-Farmers-Agribusiness/dp/1582435863/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1319227072&sr=1-1">Deeply Rooted</a> <span style="font-style: italic;">by Lisa M. Hamilton (which I am about to read on a recommendation)</span><br /><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Food-Inc/dp/B002VRZEYM/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1319227395&sr=8-1">Food, Inc.</a> <span style="font-style: italic;">directed by Robert Kenner</span><br /><a href="http://www.cvcountryside.org/">Cuyahoga Valley Countryside Conservancy<br /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><object classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,79,0" align="" height="200" width="200"> <param name="movie" value="http://www.eatwellguide.org/viewwidgets/foodDay_200_200.swf"> <param name="quality" value="high"> <param name="wmode" value="transparent"> <param name="FlashVars" value="ul=eatwellguide&fld=widgets/index.php&vid=11&bd=&wcl=keyword&fil=unfiltered"> <embed src="http://www.eatwellguide.org/viewwidgets/foodDay_200_200.swf" quality="high" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer" flashvars="ul=eatwellguide&fld=widgets/index.php&vid=11&bd=&wcl=keyword&fil=unfiltered" wmode="transparent" align="" height="200" width="200"></embed></object><br /></div>anniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01665192643093015110noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3731809874720968692.post-17508701617851394602011-10-14T13:45:00.002-04:002011-10-14T14:08:09.672-04:00Selective VisionI recently listened to an <a href="http://thedianerehmshow.org/shows/2011-10-05/errol-morris-believing-seeing">interview on NPR</a> with filmmaker Errol Morris that got me thinking again about a topic I've had on my mind. Morris has a new book of essays examining a range of photographs, addressing the question of to what degree the photograph portrays reality, or what portion or story of reality the photographer chooses to reveal (or not) in capturing a particular image.<br /><br />This idea, of the narrow, specific glimpse of a larger more complex reality and the effects that focus has on perception has been bouncing around my thoughts. I find it fascinating that it is so easy, from a few photographs, to construct an entire "reality" that seems unshakable. It is there. It is evidence. How could it be otherwise? But really there is more. Even when the photograph truly does depict a glimpse of the truth of a situation, there is more. More depth and breadth and messiness to the full reality that risks getting lost in the glimpse.<br /><br />This topic could head off in so many different ways. But what particularly interests me in this moment is how this question relates to the way I view others' lives, and how I look at my own. I touched briefly on this a few posts back, talking about the idea of <a href="http://demkos.blogspot.com/2011/08/rhythm.html">rhythm</a> and the desire to find that idealized image in my daily life. There are a small number of blogs that I read regularly and find inspiration from, and as I wrote before, these blogs draw me in, spark creativity, introduce me to new ways of seeing things and motivate me to make changes or continue on the path I'm taking. That is one side of the coin.<br /><br />The other side is that I can find myself feeling behind, lacking, not able to match up to what I admire about these other women and families; to the reality that I have constructed from the glimpses of their truths. Their lives always look so put together, they seem so natural at what they do, their homes are filled with lovely things and their days with rhythm and intention. And that reality seems unshakable. It is there. It is evidence. How could it be otherwise?<br /><br />And it feeds my discontentment with the state of things here. But then I think about the corners, bits of walls, glimpses in our house that are lovely to me. That catch me, if just for a fraction of a second, as I walk by, and can bring a fleeting smile or feeling of contentment. Though perhaps not plentiful, they are real. But so is the random table blocking the fireplace in the living room because there are one too many entertainment centers in the room (for months). Or the boys' "art" table that is so overflowingly full it's hard to see, or the precarious pile of various magazines and books and binders perched on top of the basket (that contains what, I'm not sure) on top of which this computer rests when not in use, or the layer of dust that covers more surfaces than I care to admit... You get the picture and its the same for our daily lives.<br /><br />Which gets me thinking, what if I just took pictures of those corners, bits of walls, glimpses, carefully excluding the piles and dust next door? If I honed in on those times in our days when peace finds its way in and we manage to be engaged in an activity that is inspiring and intentional? Selective vision. Would our house, our life, look like I wish it would? And what would that mean? That we're closer to the image I hold onto, the "reality" I've constructed of others' lives, than I think and it's all just a matter of perspective, of focus and selective vision?<br /><br />I find myself tempted to do an experiment: to go through the house taking pictures of those places that consistently make me smile, put them together, and see if this gives me a new perspective on our home. Likewise with our days. But then I wonder, is that not telling enough of the truth? Where is the balance between seeing positively - creating the truth you want, versus lacking the depth of the fullness (the messiness) of the reality?<br /><br />I will admit I find myself generally tipped toward the messiness of reality end of the balance and perhaps could do with a little shift in perspective. So I am curious what effect choosing selective vision for the purpose of creating the truth I want, emphasizing the lovely, the intentional, that exists could have. Yet for me there has got to be more balance. I find myself seeking out, in the reading I do, the inclusion of that broader, messier reality, to round out the truth of the matter. Often <span style="font-style: italic;">that</span> is more inspiring to me in its honesty and fullness than the lovely and intentional glimpses can be.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6Xdc0gae6WzAAPi2vmwjdpk_M7X6u3AKObP6STZAiuVbh3hsRpPU9j28Rhe1fArKFgmaIHsP0g0vqRBbQAbFuQhJDyieGBGPxqz67CEbKklw4jInqnMR-2MCx35O9qGzlXT35x95hP9nf/s1600/10.10.11+115.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6Xdc0gae6WzAAPi2vmwjdpk_M7X6u3AKObP6STZAiuVbh3hsRpPU9j28Rhe1fArKFgmaIHsP0g0vqRBbQAbFuQhJDyieGBGPxqz67CEbKklw4jInqnMR-2MCx35O9qGzlXT35x95hP9nf/s400/10.10.11+115.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5663410056020639458" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoNqc8H3BmZzICLqGT6nkHWFR9qM_qDdrAA8z_ixNiIchQhUnupSWp51TYcpiUp9JcrypeKgu7GfQnVj7c-wXmyd6neLYGAWVad04nCZHUeFpQyY8laJjFZXGQPXLgy5qGxu9d1aEvMk10/s1600/10.10.11+125.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoNqc8H3BmZzICLqGT6nkHWFR9qM_qDdrAA8z_ixNiIchQhUnupSWp51TYcpiUp9JcrypeKgu7GfQnVj7c-wXmyd6neLYGAWVad04nCZHUeFpQyY8laJjFZXGQPXLgy5qGxu9d1aEvMk10/s400/10.10.11+125.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5663410337479174178" border="0" /></a>anniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01665192643093015110noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3731809874720968692.post-15328476100395140762011-10-10T20:30:00.001-04:002011-10-10T20:41:33.484-04:00Mondays<div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhEZ_wo1xF9kHISBLdq8-oXbMj2rqq2wGbXt61zt8vkrHwaMuIiD-V9eal4obwYiv6kQBT7uoua4mX7CS4c_5M2_ejgvjC9JdIxN8XQxawFgQjmTknUxcNFThxUYSZ2LrG4R5dwrtStfO6/s1600/10.10.11+102.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhEZ_wo1xF9kHISBLdq8-oXbMj2rqq2wGbXt61zt8vkrHwaMuIiD-V9eal4obwYiv6kQBT7uoua4mX7CS4c_5M2_ejgvjC9JdIxN8XQxawFgQjmTknUxcNFThxUYSZ2LrG4R5dwrtStfO6/s400/10.10.11+102.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5662026547629760514" border="0" /></a>I used to dread free, unscheduled days with the boys. Now, they are a chance to breathe.<br /></div>anniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01665192643093015110noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3731809874720968692.post-59547031649639324512011-08-31T09:57:00.005-04:002011-08-31T10:12:12.970-04:00First Days<div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSizYE2f0NiPjcRSrqVGatOLcA43SvR0TQkUnF12ZEKQ7JZ2Mxzbk12Cy3ORy8CHwj6GanPE73TAGL2Z2blZEqtay8KqaNR_Zwkn7Cn_Fz_v8eR841WpnoTa4N02hbvmp4rjEQS6crfPFL/s1600/8.31.11+011.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 304px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSizYE2f0NiPjcRSrqVGatOLcA43SvR0TQkUnF12ZEKQ7JZ2Mxzbk12Cy3ORy8CHwj6GanPE73TAGL2Z2blZEqtay8KqaNR_Zwkn7Cn_Fz_v8eR841WpnoTa4N02hbvmp4rjEQS6crfPFL/s400/8.31.11+011.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5647019189701009218" border="0" /></a>It is a week of first days for us...
<br />
<br /><span style="font-style: italic;">:: The first day of Jim's new job, and the first day(s) in a long time the words "have I mentioned I like where I work" have been uttered in this house</span>.
<br />
<br /><span style="font-style: italic;">:: The first day back to school for Garrett and Drew with their new teacher and classmates, and the first time staying for the whole day of school</span>.
<br />
<br /><span style="font-style: italic;">:: The first day for me, back to having time on my own to focus, breathe and continue to find </span>my<span style="font-style: italic;"> way forward and follow some of my passions.
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<br /></span>We hop<span style="font-style: italic;">e</span> your first days, of school, work, new routines, or whatever they may be, are off to good starts, too.
<br /></div>anniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01665192643093015110noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3731809874720968692.post-45345692858760171602011-08-24T21:02:00.004-04:002011-08-24T21:15:00.178-04:00Transitions<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgF6PWn2ENdMlYVGXNf3ydFbMS1aXytNHncfIew25ohL2I_uN2V5E8LQtC5F-X3FXD3n0bj-icHbXLWF7f7PiFkvzbemYSGRfAaAvK8EKmME0MmgfB9hK4tQ4m1e0s9tkOnGs3xw2uVpKRE/s1600/6.15.11+015.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgF6PWn2ENdMlYVGXNf3ydFbMS1aXytNHncfIew25ohL2I_uN2V5E8LQtC5F-X3FXD3n0bj-icHbXLWF7f7PiFkvzbemYSGRfAaAvK8EKmME0MmgfB9hK4tQ4m1e0s9tkOnGs3xw2uVpKRE/s400/6.15.11+015.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5644595713299572402" border="0" /></a>There are times in life when things coast along, things staying pretty much the same, for better or worse; and there are times when the pieces all get tossed up in the air and come falling down into a new arrangement.
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<br />Jim will be starting a new job next week (Hallelujah, Hurray!).
<br />
<br />Drew and Garrett will be starting back to school, for three full days this time, next week.
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<br />The pieces are coming back down to rest, settling in for a new season of coasting along, after a bit.
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<br />We are enjoying the gift of new things to come and an unexpected week's vacation with Jim at home this week. Being reminded to breathe, trust, and allow ourselves to be present in the unfolding goodness of it all.
<br />anniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01665192643093015110noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3731809874720968692.post-55442746215556724372011-08-22T08:30:00.002-04:002011-08-22T21:39:33.960-04:00Rhythm<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPY-By5MevQlVX0MKqI_Pxse-SfbfiyqoF3YvFVf5ZGMqa3Om7-Cj3ZOpUrFOaZ47R3p8F06Q-LwTfj2GBzXObCGcroGmStbAStn6sLWtfrP_16pvE9kULO2HviOUp4prYE7tAhjee9QXI/s1600/8.22.11+037.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPY-By5MevQlVX0MKqI_Pxse-SfbfiyqoF3YvFVf5ZGMqa3Om7-Cj3ZOpUrFOaZ47R3p8F06Q-LwTfj2GBzXObCGcroGmStbAStn6sLWtfrP_16pvE9kULO2HviOUp4prYE7tAhjee9QXI/s400/8.22.11+037.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5643649587164144578" border="0" /></a>Over the weekend I finished a new book by the author of two other books and a blog that I've been greatly inspired by. There are a few blogs that I regularly follow, which is a mixed blessing of sorts... The beauty and experiences to be found and the stories unfolding with each new post draw me in, spark creativity, introduce me to new ways of seeing things and motivate me to make changes or continue on the path I'm taking. But it is also so very easy to forget - quite willingly, really - that the truths of these stories are also only snapshots. It is such an obvious fact that it feels silly to admit to needing a reminder. And yet I do, because it is oh, so seductive, the idea of the naturally flowing, steady and connecting rhythms they contain.
<br />
<br />In any case, this new book I just finished is called <a href="http://www.soulemama.bigcartel.com/product/the-rhythm-of-family-by-amanda-blake-soule">The Rhythm of Family</a> and between this book and time spent at the boys' school (which emphasizes the importance of rhythm in our days, especially for kids), I've been thinking about rhythm lately.
<br />
<br />I love the idea of rhythm. In it, I think, I hold much of what I want to be and have in our life as a family but do not (quite). Real connection to the natural world around us and to each other and ourselves. An easiness, joy and simpleness of living; a balance that allows for and embraces the inhales and exhales, the ebbs and flows, the rocky and smooth roads that make up our days.
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<br />Rhythm, this precious image I hold in my hands, is something that other families, other mothers have and come naturally to. Yet it generally seems to elude me; I make strides only to fall back frustrated, wondering when and if I, we, will live into this image.
<br />
<br />At the same time, though, I have this nagging suspicion that perhaps one reason the image I hold so carefully in my hands is as precious to me as it is is that it gives me an out. <span style="font-style: italic;">Things are so chaotic and disconnected because we haven't found our rhythm, our balance, yet. But when we do...</span> And perhaps there is something to defend in that line of thinking. But the uncomfortable thought skirting the edges, that makes me squirm a bit whenever it finds some purchase is that perhaps we already have a rhythm. That maybe the images I see portrayed and have held closely are only glimpses of larger, messier, ever evolving rhythms that are the true reality. Which is at the same time comforting and disheartening.
<br />
<br />And could it be that rhythm is not something you can impose or create, but something that needs to and can grow naturally, in time, if the conditions are right? And if that is true, where does that leave my image? How much of it is worth continuing to hold, and how much is instead a hindrance to the unfolding of my, our, natural rhythm? And what are the conditions in which our rhythm can take shape and begin to grow into something where, in its chaotic messiness the balance is tipped - more often than not - in favor of connection and awareness; to something that incorporates and respects our particular journey, both who and where we each and together are, and where we are going?
<br />
<br />I suspect there is some mix of acceptance and willingness to be aware of the present moments that has been singularly hard to find and live out in these four and a half chaotic years. And a weakness for the seductive belief that "someone else instead of me, always seems to know the way"*. It is so easy to get caught up in a spirit of deprivation and that for me is a breeding ground for "if only". The messiness of right now is so unattractive compared to <span style="font-style: italic;">what could be</span> and the voice nagging at the edges so easy to quiet. Yet that voice is persistent, and as reluctant as I am to admit it, does have a point that I might do well to consider.
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<br />So my tentatively held hope in my days is that I will keep holding carefully my inspirations and image of rhythm, but that I will also allow that image to become all the more precious and real by seeing and allowing it to include and accumulate moments from my days, our days, in this, our particular journey and so find the conditions to grow when and how it may, messiness and all.
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<br />If there are ways you see rhythm - smooth or chaotic - in your days, please share!
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<br /><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-size:85%;">*From the song Lovely Day, written by Bill Withers. I know it from the CD <a href="http://youaremyflower.org/?page_id=486">Sunny Day</a> by Elizabeth Mitchell.</span></span>
<br />anniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01665192643093015110noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3731809874720968692.post-65976261304520703992011-08-11T15:09:00.000-04:002011-08-11T15:23:58.387-04:00Time to Heal :: A Little Catch-Up<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0Af_KiyZ7RDn-6lCcHUSnwzRRDA3qjifavF90YaszChxYI78lqbwAUVfkK0svgNYeu4SEKgN-g7EQVXKHRMH9LEaFJanAeA_PaZozGlqWG5t8ftcv_FsbfGebVdUtgzEI8w8iwHF87sSD/s1600/8.10.11+065.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 280px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0Af_KiyZ7RDn-6lCcHUSnwzRRDA3qjifavF90YaszChxYI78lqbwAUVfkK0svgNYeu4SEKgN-g7EQVXKHRMH9LEaFJanAeA_PaZozGlqWG5t8ftcv_FsbfGebVdUtgzEI8w8iwHF87sSD/s400/8.10.11+065.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5639670985176258210" border="0" /></a>Yesterday I had to have a wisdom tooth taken out, which knocked me out much more than expected. The good news was the gift of time to heal alone, in some quiet yesterday and unexpectedly this afternoon as well. So while the boys are taking Grandma Char on a tour of the train tracks upstairs and attempting to contact the fairies about a trip to their palace, I have the gift of some moments of peace on the couch, surrounded by open windows letting in (such wonderful) cool breezes, bright blue skies and green leaves.
<br />
<br />It is not a gift I often give myself or am wiling to receive, the time to heal, but I am learning.
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<br />And so, now seems like a good chance to play a little catch-up from the past month or so's doings.
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<br />It has been a busy but nice summer full of daily life, celebrations, work and play. And in just a couple weeks it will be the end of this season as the boys start back to school and a new season begins.
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<br />Among (many) other things, we have been...
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<br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiII7Ub-r79D-gSxg16CezbN7le_X2OiPGeLlaAJDfSnERpxORHJYt_XFIcBnse1r2uLIjkZG69vry7ZR3tDZMmNCsp8GCRAqhU68BDY-nH7OqyYw15wNrH2DDGAG19vSSnICj7CUdq_VJs/s1600/7.11.11+010.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiII7Ub-r79D-gSxg16CezbN7le_X2OiPGeLlaAJDfSnERpxORHJYt_XFIcBnse1r2uLIjkZG69vry7ZR3tDZMmNCsp8GCRAqhU68BDY-nH7OqyYw15wNrH2DDGAG19vSSnICj7CUdq_VJs/s400/7.11.11+010.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5639675541411468354" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEwavI53-svhtRToM4Fywnqo7q-xLMrAu28gscDIJNNPicOs1WljQbjVjHXU5gUDVFlJXg2jhPLwYP7L1gjgzWwN-Cs3HP6eMFhikj7QX1VSYD9r7pAy_3RJ6Qbmr-j9ZdmDdKjU2w7g89/s1600/7.11.11+039.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEwavI53-svhtRToM4Fywnqo7q-xLMrAu28gscDIJNNPicOs1WljQbjVjHXU5gUDVFlJXg2jhPLwYP7L1gjgzWwN-Cs3HP6eMFhikj7QX1VSYD9r7pAy_3RJ6Qbmr-j9ZdmDdKjU2w7g89/s400/7.11.11+039.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5639675766225511506" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3v6Mqi-Qd4DiUXgJNHZ0O8LQPCk90VEYp0h2jdk-vP1xfZiRK0KoDpW06dP2sIxYr5iF-KZZyFRGn4lOmLvoAbJIugEmBUo1fEv5gTU9oCx3xf9J73n5ddHSUIUfoHw2K3uuttOHWNFaO/s1600/7.11.11+042.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3v6Mqi-Qd4DiUXgJNHZ0O8LQPCk90VEYp0h2jdk-vP1xfZiRK0KoDpW06dP2sIxYr5iF-KZZyFRGn4lOmLvoAbJIugEmBUo1fEv5gTU9oCx3xf9J73n5ddHSUIUfoHw2K3uuttOHWNFaO/s400/7.11.11+042.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5639676005156795698" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5D486Ztbtm0BwZxEbA93R6KcCsvbQhMWbdL-drlrqS8kk2sSbT7DnDm06W8fjk_M0xxE261w4krZebQiMK1Rcy2_q0nrR0QS1tti0JqzP9CoD-TOdgruBH2nP2SNckLVx4DSJ2puXKsNY/s1600/8.10.11+035.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5D486Ztbtm0BwZxEbA93R6KcCsvbQhMWbdL-drlrqS8kk2sSbT7DnDm06W8fjk_M0xxE261w4krZebQiMK1Rcy2_q0nrR0QS1tti0JqzP9CoD-TOdgruBH2nP2SNckLVx4DSJ2puXKsNY/s400/8.10.11+035.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5639676230644466562" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiR-pXukeYVcAlOL9InQqTFy1Yj5ABPhi_I9MwevTxFGzeyqaTtwxQMKzxjoMfx2RLo_dn3JLZBNMDNUBLHiatRpXX0q5uOQO5wczNlnUvr2mJctnfQMS8-KqD6L1Eea0ioAsyKX7zvclze/s1600/8.10.11+042.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiR-pXukeYVcAlOL9InQqTFy1Yj5ABPhi_I9MwevTxFGzeyqaTtwxQMKzxjoMfx2RLo_dn3JLZBNMDNUBLHiatRpXX0q5uOQO5wczNlnUvr2mJctnfQMS8-KqD6L1Eea0ioAsyKX7zvclze/s400/8.10.11+042.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5639676448221322082" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUwoT4wVdkYp-3YcgW58roaRAwiRA49akleunKfhkoBVom3c6UQP1keAheHOxy6QnEcn3AA11cjU5E8nbeVlqPfSph0yTfGZOkSw25lzAJUygzZerH-gCZSX8WTXEhcOBVmqY26ydsPxgt/s1600/8.10.11+056.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUwoT4wVdkYp-3YcgW58roaRAwiRA49akleunKfhkoBVom3c6UQP1keAheHOxy6QnEcn3AA11cjU5E8nbeVlqPfSph0yTfGZOkSw25lzAJUygzZerH-gCZSX8WTXEhcOBVmqY26ydsPxgt/s400/8.10.11+056.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5639676785723673570" border="0" /></a>:: <span style="font-style: italic;">Swimming</span>... Drew and Garrett have been all about playing in the water this year and have loved every chance to get suited up and "swim".
<br />:: <span style="font-style: italic;">Creating</span>... fabric flags, paper flowers, paintings, new curtains... much fun.
<br />:: <span style="font-style: italic;">Adventuring</span>... to Hale Farm, to pick apples (when there are no blueberries to be found...), on walks across the street, and on the playground in our own backyard (they are getting so brave...).
<br />:: <span style="font-style: italic;">Celebrating</span>... birthdays, and the ability to dress up as brave knights.
<br />:: <span style="font-style: italic;">Tending</span>... making slow but steady progress in beginning to tend this place more intentionally, together (sometimes).
<br />:: <span style="font-style: italic;">Playing</span>... always...building, pretending, driving, running, singing, talking, jumping, knocking down, and building again.
<br />
<br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Wishing you some quiet moments in your days to pause, think, and be renewed (hopefully without the necessity of wisdom tooth removal to prompt it...)!</span>
<br /></div>anniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01665192643093015110noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3731809874720968692.post-30764332472553074122011-07-11T20:15:00.008-04:002011-07-11T21:45:44.820-04:00Stuff :: Less Stuff<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6PVHWMv5S90vzskWNOlhqV1DLtNZvxmHNWpq2M3xdPh1IC0n_Xwg7ZWUonom01Y_QdfgS7a-CxXFJuVw5JkJvguCFVHWYzBB6Fqt1GR8zBy0_balxcM90MNAlHJWPGLBxEYMm75jgd9pf/s1600/6.26.11+001.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6PVHWMv5S90vzskWNOlhqV1DLtNZvxmHNWpq2M3xdPh1IC0n_Xwg7ZWUonom01Y_QdfgS7a-CxXFJuVw5JkJvguCFVHWYzBB6Fqt1GR8zBy0_balxcM90MNAlHJWPGLBxEYMm75jgd9pf/s200/6.26.11+001.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5628271333492596658" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwOLUZab6WrzTqw4Mc_EpbPubh1MikynQX6vlTVet2UFrrP1kGTuOX7wg9W5p6M61cVXd5nCDPVK7EB8Br50xOirKTprPuWLdTzf6VKpLDFQtjxjsRrMcsmLb_loWVMhKVA7DUvGlM3Pd8/s1600/6.26.11+020.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwOLUZab6WrzTqw4Mc_EpbPubh1MikynQX6vlTVet2UFrrP1kGTuOX7wg9W5p6M61cVXd5nCDPVK7EB8Br50xOirKTprPuWLdTzf6VKpLDFQtjxjsRrMcsmLb_loWVMhKVA7DUvGlM3Pd8/s200/6.26.11+020.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5628271566903243234" border="0" /></a>Back a while (<a href="http://demkos.blogspot.com/2011/05/first-things-first.html">here</a>), I wrote a bit about how we made the decision to put the farm idea away for a time. Things had gotten out of control and it was time to pause, take a breath and address some basics. Our life was far from intentional and simple. (Was...?) One of the areas we badly needed to address was the amount of <span style="font-style: italic;">stuff</span> that had accumulated all around us. It was closing in on us - especially me.<br /><br />For a long time now, Jim and I have been operating under the idea of "simple living". Which has so many books and magazines and articles, written about it by now that it is no longer "simple". And maybe when you get into it, it really isn't from the start anyway, but that's another topic. Suffice it to say that for all of our years together we have embraced the value of living simply: among other things, living with and needing less stuff. And before we had kids, I think we did pretty well with that. Since then, however, it's become more of a theoretical proposition. And I'm not just talking about all the baby and now child paraphernalia, though of course that's included. But as things got more hectic, it got easier and easier to not notice the piles cropping up here and there, the toys that were much easier to leave out under foot than put away at the end of a long day, the stuff that sat around on any and all flat surfaces not immediately put away that quickly blended into the landscape... You get the picture.<br /><br />Now, I've never been one to keep up with the dusting, or keeping the counters cleared off every day - more of the "company's coming, time for ninja cleaning!" sort. But over the Winter and Spring, things really got out of hand and I started to feel a bit claustrophobic, on edge whenever I was around home.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHDG78r59X9LdcCp5ADrP7Vib5ahv16ZMbGnv-xPfeaWC5XikyXFcRBe6SQetRd5TW7IUJgNs61PS4lxV1PZBRQOeTmBYd31Ciuzlp5URha_FTh18id0KCyCSNiOSIrIt1VSaivOCNo_Xw/s1600/7.11.11+026.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 150px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHDG78r59X9LdcCp5ADrP7Vib5ahv16ZMbGnv-xPfeaWC5XikyXFcRBe6SQetRd5TW7IUJgNs61PS4lxV1PZBRQOeTmBYd31Ciuzlp5URha_FTh18id0KCyCSNiOSIrIt1VSaivOCNo_Xw/s200/7.11.11+026.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5628272305415068882" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjs1wzMBDlG1cDuWTzS3qFvKbiD-1BLu4aTh3b7LJQsD8qsgpx4ZcnaH-ofbw9Bl9UlpQrO8xuNUM-xjN07qme31oRP99pPs0BNtBenkeo3MgjE97Gm1wawEMRbt0s_9AKny4m1qA0sLbNM/s1600/7.3.11+001.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 150px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjs1wzMBDlG1cDuWTzS3qFvKbiD-1BLu4aTh3b7LJQsD8qsgpx4ZcnaH-ofbw9Bl9UlpQrO8xuNUM-xjN07qme31oRP99pPs0BNtBenkeo3MgjE97Gm1wawEMRbt0s_9AKny4m1qA0sLbNM/s200/7.3.11+001.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5628272062202357314" border="0" /></a><br />And so, we are making some changes. Drew and Garrett's toys got an overhaul, we took a couple car loads of stuff to the boys' school rummage sale - and then the thrift store - and most impressive so far, cleaned out the porch. The whole house is on the list, a room a week till the end of the summer (loosely following the plan in <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Organized-Simplicity-Clutter-Free-Approach-Intentional/dp/1440302634/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1310430979&sr=1-1">this</a> book). It feels so very good to be making a difference, clearing out the <span style="font-style: italic;">stuff</span>, bringing some intentionality and order - simplicity - back to our home, creating a little more space to breathe and to be.anniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01665192643093015110noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3731809874720968692.post-73534653456884645392011-06-29T08:30:00.002-04:002011-06-29T08:44:03.897-04:00Summer Rhythm<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFaNn65uGTecu0NLLlHBmdLlwFzO4YIxcCO64DpZjEJtegYmbFKQituxAautFg_232MScWvpYo_qPSaVvL4BxkvVAgVrVVRMtvshSP9cW58KPsNi7rCvPZFRwjX4eTaiKBASYlHE_8pPBo/s1600/6.26.11+051.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFaNn65uGTecu0NLLlHBmdLlwFzO4YIxcCO64DpZjEJtegYmbFKQituxAautFg_232MScWvpYo_qPSaVvL4BxkvVAgVrVVRMtvshSP9cW58KPsNi7rCvPZFRwjX4eTaiKBASYlHE_8pPBo/s400/6.26.11+051.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5623619909470005170" border="0" /></a>A couple weeks into summer we are starting to fall into a new rhythm. Time has been going quickly and our days have been packed. That's not quite what I was planning for, but it has been mostly good, and there is still plenty of summer left for slowing down a bit more.<br /><br />One of my (many) goals for the summer has been to continue some of the rhythm of school for Drew and Garrett. For a few reasons: the importance of rhythm (in general, and in particular for the three of us), the hope of easing transitions - away from school and back to school in the fall, and the desire to provide for the boys (and participate in myself) a bit of the goodness of the daily and weekly rhythms they experience in school.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3FI7uoXlLK1gSzuP5hofA8AfxVHwd4DKGsA_oBzN_hFrmIAXUo293BePWEII7oHmHZHkvzqImOHq1kxGzsjtMwx2RfAU0mm9JeOgnevmM8rGPpr82IYaabwKIz2E-0l8Vh6WgWKK-5L0s/s1600/6.26.11+053.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3FI7uoXlLK1gSzuP5hofA8AfxVHwd4DKGsA_oBzN_hFrmIAXUo293BePWEII7oHmHZHkvzqImOHq1kxGzsjtMwx2RfAU0mm9JeOgnevmM8rGPpr82IYaabwKIz2E-0l8Vh6WgWKK-5L0s/s400/6.26.11+053.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5623620760265799122" border="0" /></a>So, three days a week we are starting our mornings with "circle time" - verses and songs - and an activity that they would normally do in school: bread baking, painting, drawing, nature walks. It's a nice way to start the day. We had a bit of a rocky start as I fumbled along trying to figure it out, and as Drew struggled with wanting things to be done just how they were in school. But I think we're starting to fall into a rhythm of our own.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPOCqUtaswsnfx2T8S4HJd8KVREC3DzC4GtwhSkdMo9tDC-M5g9u1gCUFt2BKfDSUEZ1kvTmGNgFUma5v-FaUkRNtVPI96bgc-vizseP5no19W0DwpOuJM4xUJVVp57GgFvIT9oEq0T4t-/s1600/6.26.11+014.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPOCqUtaswsnfx2T8S4HJd8KVREC3DzC4GtwhSkdMo9tDC-M5g9u1gCUFt2BKfDSUEZ1kvTmGNgFUma5v-FaUkRNtVPI96bgc-vizseP5no19W0DwpOuJM4xUJVVp57GgFvIT9oEq0T4t-/s400/6.26.11+014.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5622714201012333186" border="0" /></a>Aside from a music class one morning and our weekly visit from Grandpa Mike and sometimes Grandma Char, the rest of the time is pretty much open (except when it gets filled...). It's a little intimidating to me to have big chunks of open, unscheduled time, but Drew and Garrett (usually) can't get enough play time, and it's very nice to have time to (sometimes) make progress on some projects. And so our days go. I hope yours are going along contentedly this summer, too!anniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01665192643093015110noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3731809874720968692.post-89851353503171358742011-06-26T21:21:00.002-04:002011-06-29T08:44:27.568-04:00Big Boy Bikes<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJOaggc433iGJ65FY8dU3J31FdDft-smulTBjUG8zmjy_WmpZQEltQX1BD_a50AcCwRGhBPhchJILpf4X_93JUfxxUwl3IJdJJldviwwvu_8zZ0IqL2YGHlrPnzgljSh7i27f55wzHLzlT/s1600/6.26.11+042.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJOaggc433iGJ65FY8dU3J31FdDft-smulTBjUG8zmjy_WmpZQEltQX1BD_a50AcCwRGhBPhchJILpf4X_93JUfxxUwl3IJdJJldviwwvu_8zZ0IqL2YGHlrPnzgljSh7i27f55wzHLzlT/s400/6.26.11+042.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5622706090623327202" border="0" /></a>anniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01665192643093015110noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3731809874720968692.post-73556692393178905962011-06-17T09:14:00.007-04:002011-06-17T12:04:49.138-04:00When Make-Believe Goes Awry<div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh755xHDHdY1Mb5sLK1xPCGNpsCDM1zS9n2QR2LLXi0ZBxnB7yCXjxfQPh5QdKZUHTYMLDqmp6xb874Q6AKZaEzy0_uurkK6cjvUJb2AXEZ2anB789yva5ZZkcY8TUfb26hpi07IlARdrxO/s1600/6.16.11+002.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh755xHDHdY1Mb5sLK1xPCGNpsCDM1zS9n2QR2LLXi0ZBxnB7yCXjxfQPh5QdKZUHTYMLDqmp6xb874Q6AKZaEzy0_uurkK6cjvUJb2AXEZ2anB789yva5ZZkcY8TUfb26hpi07IlARdrxO/s400/6.16.11+002.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5619217053560470866" border="0" /></a><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-size:85%;">"Dear Easter Bunny (Garrett Demko Michael), I want to go to your house and live there. I love you. Garrett told me all about you. Drew"<br /><br /></span></span></div>Garrett and Drew are good pretenders. They are daily making up new games (or replaying new versions of old ones), and to this point they have been on the same wave-length as they have built and outfit rocket ships for travel to Uncle John's house or the North Pole...<br /><br />I don't know how it began, but yesterday Drew and Garrett started talking about the Easter Bunny and going to visit him. Drew wanted to write a note telling the Easter Bunny that he wanted to go to his house and live there, and Garrett started creating this story about how he <span style="font-style: italic;">had</span> been to the Easter Bunny's house this past Easter. It was so very cute, how excited and earnest they were about it all; Drew quizing Garrett about what he did and all the details of the Easter Bunny's house, Garrett talking with authority about the whole experience. Things reached their most adorable after dinner when Garrett said the Easter Bunny was on his way and there was much squealing and jumping and clapping of hands. And to cries of "I hear him coming!", they ran outside to see...<br /><br />And, as it's been said... "Sometimes, at the height of our revelries, when our joy is at it's zenith, when all is most right with the world..." Turns out the Easter Bunny was not, in fact, on his way up our driveway. Which Garrett knew all along, as he was pretending. Drew, on the other hand, was heartbroken. For the first time, that I know of, they were not on the same page... In the murky four-year-old world of reality and make-believe, they had missed each other and headed down different paths. While Drew's heart broke at the disappointment of no visit from the Easter Bunny, mine broke at his vulnerability (while also laughing - inside - at the ridiculousness of the situation). It was one of many, I'm sure, moments of pure sweetness and heartbreak, holding this crying boy who didn't understand why the Easter Bunny was not arriving at our house the way his brother assured him he would be.anniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01665192643093015110noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3731809874720968692.post-21502418331067536122011-06-06T20:47:00.013-04:002011-06-06T21:55:28.325-04:00Some HappeningsIt seems Summer is here, already after just a brief, soggy visit from Spring (which, isn't that always the case in this part of the country...at least the briefness). The temperature has been heating up and we've finally gotten a break from the rain; days filled with sun and blue skies. I could leave the heat, but the sunshine has been lovely.<br /><br />This week we are...<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjz3ZePy9KBvItF_gT_9xEbLeEW68zQpgiv_Yvyr_HP0IMnd_F6pIMEtPXZCRrH6x8j_96jpR5b8JN5W1_V0VVqohbg7AXMZBF-c2dlLxbi_96AKeKzYQfTpIq2FHD0cRnvn5C-jFek1vJ6/s1600/hug.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjz3ZePy9KBvItF_gT_9xEbLeEW68zQpgiv_Yvyr_HP0IMnd_F6pIMEtPXZCRrH6x8j_96jpR5b8JN5W1_V0VVqohbg7AXMZBF-c2dlLxbi_96AKeKzYQfTpIq2FHD0cRnvn5C-jFek1vJ6/s400/hug.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5615287826838501490" border="0" /></a>:: loving - each other, and cool summer haircuts<br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTfMIO9AXT_yXNiRConE8q1Fq7SD0vfWlM0GTzUj1OgGyYxSMJq7htrUXG-2s103xqlcW4zGHqIh3ZmKVCbpM73h_rVOwNnFVeCUk9m32Sgsm6xydNHTYNKktYHd1sQz5jKVvildEooW46/s1600/cards.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTfMIO9AXT_yXNiRConE8q1Fq7SD0vfWlM0GTzUj1OgGyYxSMJq7htrUXG-2s103xqlcW4zGHqIh3ZmKVCbpM73h_rVOwNnFVeCUk9m32Sgsm6xydNHTYNKktYHd1sQz5jKVvildEooW46/s400/cards.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5615288401502742194" border="0" /></a>:: celebrating one year of potty-trained boys<br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKAfwRhbj1Xggi99SX9OQsqygTpM35QehdRqo9xBbni6rgwLvwc0YC2U96f-f-nNWroYIeKptOEx_G-XxSsl1xIL6ZG8zyXWco17cyefDQCacwMrrwnapQStk2kCebYFeTxj6wi7iktaB3/s1600/bikes.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKAfwRhbj1Xggi99SX9OQsqygTpM35QehdRqo9xBbni6rgwLvwc0YC2U96f-f-nNWroYIeKptOEx_G-XxSsl1xIL6ZG8zyXWco17cyefDQCacwMrrwnapQStk2kCebYFeTxj6wi7iktaB3/s400/bikes.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5615288837647112658" border="0" /></a>:: playing for hours outside soaking up the sun and fresh air<br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5LS68yXalMPtdvJbRS2VrALapdHCZoEoATP0bN1ERQgb2DayHxO3A0s2SUjZLXw5ghYsaRg04EmIjixRO0xuhX5088Dio__So_qi5IdOl1a960OYXNENq5rkGdqhhQVzuFyTkDHK00Ej0/s1600/phish.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5LS68yXalMPtdvJbRS2VrALapdHCZoEoATP0bN1ERQgb2DayHxO3A0s2SUjZLXw5ghYsaRg04EmIjixRO0xuhX5088Dio__So_qi5IdOl1a960OYXNENq5rkGdqhhQVzuFyTkDHK00Ej0/s400/phish.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5615289399789032098" border="0" /></a>:: coasting out of a weekend of garage sale days, good music and time away together<br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTjbrh1EaFHW7ecnmQUMd342-qMaoHvaZsvkwpYJ3qMjqJa8VwhM5PRjrBKyLIAmXxKhVJPTIb_rT-JjGdSgyG1JZN-kIP-JYFrbUVBrjQTBKW3zYVWusY9ii8nAqAUj5R7azHkixGOudb/s1600/lavender.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTjbrh1EaFHW7ecnmQUMd342-qMaoHvaZsvkwpYJ3qMjqJa8VwhM5PRjrBKyLIAmXxKhVJPTIb_rT-JjGdSgyG1JZN-kIP-JYFrbUVBrjQTBKW3zYVWusY9ii8nAqAUj5R7azHkixGOudb/s400/lavender.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5615289878044748706" border="0" /></a>:: believing that small, rather ordinary accomplishments are worthwhile, too.<br /></div><br />We are looking ahead and behind as well, as we begin this last week of school for Drew and Garrett - the end of their first year of school, and the transition to three months of Summer Break. It came so quickly.anniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01665192643093015110noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3731809874720968692.post-7904546019581795522011-05-15T20:55:00.000-04:002011-05-15T20:58:22.437-04:00First Things First<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXdqHplbObyXqUS1aX5WPf4Z8K4GwotJKK0_G50lXjlW9DCuRQ_T-vQsG4Vz_1IjNJLXpjkj-0dNTfFjQn7S69DAF5dO5PAPNipqBJaLRMgqk2gEZHB7zojZ-DI469wuEPEdTHimznv2CV/s1600/Pictures+5.10.11+116.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXdqHplbObyXqUS1aX5WPf4Z8K4GwotJKK0_G50lXjlW9DCuRQ_T-vQsG4Vz_1IjNJLXpjkj-0dNTfFjQn7S69DAF5dO5PAPNipqBJaLRMgqk2gEZHB7zojZ-DI469wuEPEdTHimznv2CV/s400/Pictures+5.10.11+116.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5605250875122799362" border="0" /></a>Sometimes you rush headlong into something only to be brought up short. Sometimes plans change. Such has proved to be the case for us as we charged forward with our plans for turning our homestead into a farm business this year. <br /><br />We reached a point around mid-April where it became clear that something had to give. It - our plan, our to-do lists, our health and sanity - was not working. Far from enjoying and getting satisfaction from the work as I had in the past and had expected to going forward, I began dreading it. Resenting it. Instead of being a positive force in our lives it had become a drain and a source of anxiety and frustration.<br /><br />I struggled with the worry that I was giving up too soon - that I simply wasn't tough enough. In theory I was fully aware of the time, effort and sacrifices that would be involved when I signed on for this (though I think, a bit like parenthood, you don't really <span style="font-style: italic;">know</span> how tough a go it'll be until you're in the midst of it), and believed I could handle it - that the rewards would be sufficient and the fulfillment enough to replace the energy spent. So I struggled, telling myself that this is what I wanted, what I was supposed to be getting satisfaction from; that I was just being a wimp now that the going was getting tough. That can be a pretty convincing argument for me, supported by numerous examples of others who are doing it with much less angst.<br /><br />After some discussions between Jim and I - during which we came to the realization that we were each pursuing this particular path primarily for reasons related to the other - and giving some thought to where we find ourselves after the tough Winter we had, it seems more clear to me that it's not a particular wimpyness on my part, but a case of needing to put things in their place. First things first.<br /><br />This Winter and the time spent frantically trying to keep up this Spring have made quite clear the fact that there are too many basic needs and facts of life that have been too long ignored or pushed to the background in favor of the latest great project or simply the frantic pace of life. Life since Garrett and Drew were born has been lived primarily in crisis mode: two inadequately prepared parents trying our best to adapt to our new reality and the constant changes it entailed (entails). And that, among other things, has left us spent, drained. Talking good talk, but honestly, not living in a consistent manner. And that has taken its toll.<br /><br />As I began reading the book <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Simplicity-Parenting-Extraordinary-Calmer-Happier/dp/0345507983/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1305505193&sr=1-1">Simplicity Parenting</a> (which I highly recommend) this Spring, this sentence jumped off the page:<br /><blockquote></blockquote><span style="font-style: italic;"><blockquote>"Making do, flying by the seat of our pants, barely seeing one another, always improvising, revolving doors, crazy schedules, unchecked emotions, strangers in the same house."</blockquote><span style="font-style: italic;"></span></span>and another:<br /><blockquote></blockquote><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-style: italic;"></span><blockquote>"We are facing an enormous problem in our lives today. It's so big we can hardly see it, and it's right in front of our face all day, every day. We're all living too big lives, crammed from top to toe with activities, urgencies and obligations that seem absolute. There's no time to take a breath, no time to look for the source of the problem." (Sarah Susanka, "The Not So Big Life")</blockquote><span style="font-style: italic;"></span></span>It is time for a breath. To take on less rather than more, and spend some time caring for ourselves, reflecting, and finding our way back to the intentionally simple life we want to live. Time to find new rhythms to our days and weeks that make sense and feed us where we are, not where we think we should be or wish we were, or might be down the road. This is a novel concept around here and will take some getting used to for sure.<span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-style: italic;"></span> </span>I don't know quite what it will look like, but we are agreed that at this point in time it does not include starting up and running a farm as a business.<br /><br />That being said, we still have our meat birds which will be ready for purchase in a couple weeks (Memorial Day weekend), and have decided for now at least to keep the layer chicks we ordered this Spring, so come the end of summer we will have eggs aplenty and then some (dozens to be exact). And all those layers will be needing a proper coop to call home pretty soon.<br /><br />So we have a few loose ends to tie up. But beyond that, my hope is that we will be stepping back, focusing inward a bit more and getting our house in order in the months ahead - quite literally, and figuratively as well. And then, better grounded, moving forward, whatever direction that might take.anniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01665192643093015110noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3731809874720968692.post-90355302966567941152011-04-26T09:33:00.004-04:002011-04-26T09:45:01.478-04:00Early Morning Bubbles<div align="center"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaIFnxgOw4cFZ2QCv6kYgR7pjp2_2awuNKtQSSWw-_zWCO9GR2oDvi19p6jAFIkOhn0nd67efnxOrM1U4GSiE7NQkQioeHitBBU542NvTsAlDi_8lB8t7wu2-ihy0iStC97H9KjSRSMWa5/s1600/123.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5599885092034202770" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 300px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaIFnxgOw4cFZ2QCv6kYgR7pjp2_2awuNKtQSSWw-_zWCO9GR2oDvi19p6jAFIkOhn0nd67efnxOrM1U4GSiE7NQkQioeHitBBU542NvTsAlDi_8lB8t7wu2-ihy0iStC97H9KjSRSMWa5/s400/123.JPG" border="0" /></a> What do you do when you wake up super early, to an unexpectedly beautiful morning?</div><br /><div align="center">Break out the Bubble Color Labs that you found in your Easter baskets and head outside, of course!<br /></div>anniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01665192643093015110noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3731809874720968692.post-4510306843077361032011-04-12T08:08:00.016-04:002011-04-12T08:49:27.908-04:00VacationThere has been and will be some vacationing going on around here this month. Last week the boys were on Spring Break (which I discovered much to my surprise the Friday before...I guess I should check the calender more often...). We didn't do much special, apart from going to storytime at our old library one day. But it was good. It felt like a deep breath. Which, like the break itself, came as a surprise to me. I value and count on those three mornings a week as some time to myself - some mini pressure valves in the week. But somehow after the initial dismay wore off, I felt myself relax: here would be a chance to slow down, breathe a little more, rush a little less, maybe even connect a little bit more. And it was. <br /><div><br /><div>Then last night I think I reached my limit amid much yelling. Perhaps I'm not quite ready for Summer Break afterall. Two steps forward, one step back. <br /><div><br /><div>The other vacationing this month is on Jim's end of things. Needing a break from work and time to make some headway on projects around the farm, he's taking a few long weekends. This past weekend's main project was finishing this year's maple syrup. We came out with less than expected, and hit a few bumps along the way, but came out of it with some mighty fine syrup and our first farm product (aside from eggs) of the year. Pretty exciting. <img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5594675037964967698" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 296px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLbn8DSq3WodEn_5-uNbV2JC4o3ro3Zv5IPx21nCVRF_sle33kkyrrcOcS0wPw8Rz97_e0OAHuGyJhvO3Aw5u51KYHN7xKLYiKOjyI9XQbswgJBql3t7kof7QoVOM9LivWeLZyJCh5XWZq/s400/019.JPG" border="0" />We've also been working on the garden: planting seeds, tending seedlings, transplanting, clearing wood off the garden (from the many small trees Jim took down to increase the amount of light)<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUxGq520ARP6ePcls8FkNLgUiG2NiKy7RK-7ubpYCRObbplYI3QXexh30PtDu1kPz5STQx3wcAQqAy24hyphenhyphentQsHVEFxHwi-C1u0yHzL-edq5PV4O0la3H38_uuFQUo14Adj8Dgb1K-Z0LSE/s1600/006.JPG"></a>, planting the first lettuces outside in the cold frame, and marking and digging garden beds. There is a long way to go, and the plants are spilling off the shelves onto the dresser and dryer and into the porch. I'm realizing just how out of shape I am, and how much it really does rain in April. <img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5594675354828342002" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 289px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYXAprKXe5nIo2MVmk712Kcjuzl9UQ3me7qk9i_mbD9MTBx_FQFORdppe83Z-ct_x7ED1wrL06mU8Wc-HDM_TetB0TBWwwVNQecv0ib2ONwT8n9mBF0nwc6rzMhl6J0TuOyzd4QyjoFcS5/s400/006.JPG" border="0" />The chicks are growing fast: the broilers are in a large pen Jim built in the porch awaiting an outside shelter (hopefully next weekend...) and the layers have graduated to multiple bins in the bathroom and are awaiting the broilers' move outside so they can take over the porch. Just in time for us to pick up our second installment of layers at the end of the month. Have I mentioned there is never a dull moment around here?</div></div></div></div>anniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01665192643093015110noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3731809874720968692.post-27262446352357051932011-03-23T13:52:00.010-04:002011-03-23T14:09:18.812-04:00New Beginnings<div align="center">There are new beginnings and new life all around us now, even as we make our way through some early Spring colds, encouraging us in our days and work.<br /><br /></div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5587336010602673506" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 300px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1XSPxAX_dskvDZLwuv7aLJlmxtSAKxHRDCiUKWJTDfNjqGSVLsgN-vwShcvXXlKu3skNT-GsbNe2bWchyo5sr94_Ce3xkAWnBbywP6iCzYVwj5wckBE9XRp3-Xu0NHeo3-KgvrdNgXg5k/s400/005.JPG" border="0" /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5587336412172248082" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 300px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqaSr15Koeyo1jw5osOfs-DXxqj0I1WtXZ1U-KfaIvAG6YQZYGbGmw8WM0pCAjhb3PWkv0hcpX-dkvfaY3bUuwomDxLkl0y7bUEN9KM2b490WhilC28QLetB8MTA6YuXyk3SoI5qDQH4w1/s400/020.JPG" border="0" /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5587336637986532546" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 300px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicyu9e4HioZeOmOqUdIXZgUC3Cc-j_wTvl04OtSpR2rNS-_E0S_BYeeCJOX0e6ZOq8yVpFwDIrnLmwiWCFEIfc384VT5VmaVa_j-ewAofcTOHnxpGzdGwLAqoe6y_xxbthixukwdYH_X8f/s400/014.JPG" border="0" /> <img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5587337754056676818" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 300px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSLit9Qbqv3cY_uiLTkyPfP8YRH4RNhH8EB13rog_vo7d8pw8C31woc0kt02Wz2w7Q87BMOKhzqcLzVbaNmqAG3FCdW9-HHl42uI7oUs10VOVTz_3KPUtxpFvQLhyphenhyphen6k-NCq7jaqBYyCtxY/s400/042.JPG" border="0" /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5587336919870617474" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 300px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_lieOdeQ_NBN1MP9-Lg0WxL82OUWQF5jAVRXY2AvzquIKcaIpNpXBSMwMGFiRMy93ekCRiEBeunw3uuTl1zvoEubfAygA0gKqoBXkzGpSrsXsKi-Ylon0uQ-r7HoAnFNUeiIVxT-VSbWo/s400/026.JPG" border="0" /> <img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5587337066410970578" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 300px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-zqA0V0l75q2rO5x2LNs0BzGEWVeX1oRTLWKIaToPUTcn3gUgPEk3UOSJKlEhg5GdnN3arWqXgWtts9N8lqfXEKkMHWzLnhUevufM8lGoL9Ql1mjlOXhaBShiA7QwvZb0Y2mib4uYU0jc/s400/033.JPG" border="0" /> <p align="center">:: <em>A belated birthday celebration at school<br /></em>::<em> Buds on our Maple trees, signaling the end of sap for this year<br /></em>:: <em>Filling flats for...<br /></em>:: <em>so many seedlings!<br /></em>::<em> Two flocks of chicks crowding us out of the bathroom<br /></em>::<em> Our newest chicks, the first half of our layers for this year, brought home Monday.</em></p><p align="center">We hope you are seeing the new beginnings and new life around you as well!<br /></p>anniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01665192643093015110noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3731809874720968692.post-55608874502139842372011-03-15T19:47:00.007-04:002011-03-15T20:19:53.144-04:00The Nursery<div align="left"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmUbafYbFyZ94sUTvw4vXKteC8-FKcOXw4zAwxsyq95txkOwwgJciWfcalantezfBin-bF_nvwZba1xjvrHUzxGfX9i3cPoKKhY5t1dnt_dpvLRBQR7RxdIirzS91W9TFJkcOqzIlgK_hP/s1600/445.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5584463016620763906" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 300px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmUbafYbFyZ94sUTvw4vXKteC8-FKcOXw4zAwxsyq95txkOwwgJciWfcalantezfBin-bF_nvwZba1xjvrHUzxGfX9i3cPoKKhY5t1dnt_dpvLRBQR7RxdIirzS91W9TFJkcOqzIlgK_hP/s400/445.JPG" border="0" /></a> Over the course of the next weeks, this little farmhouse will begin to bulge at the seams with all kinds of new life. The first seeds of many have been planted (and are sprouting!), tomorrow we will receive our first ever order of chicks through the mail and on Monday the boys and I will be taking a road trip to pick up another batch. The chicks we'll receive tomorrow will be our Spring flock of broilers. This time we will be raising "Rainbow Rangers", which are a slightly slower growing bird that is happy -and able- to forage for much of their feed. We've heard good things about these birds and are excited to raise them up. Then on Monday we'll pick up the first half of our layers for this year. More seeds should be arriving soon, and in April we'll pick up the second half of our layers as well as some new packages of bees.<br /></div><div align="left"></div><div align="left"><br /></div><div align="left">Seedlings in the bedroom and chicks in the bathroom is not exactly what I imagined. And I realized today that I might just have to finally accept that this house is destined to be in a state of (slightly controlled...I hope...) chaos, at least for the forseeable future. But I'm not complaining. There is a lot of work ahead, so much tending to be done, whether plant, animal, family or self. There are times it is overwhelming. But how rich we are to be so filled and connected to new life all around us.<br /><br /><em>**We are now taking orders for broilers. (We expect them to be ready mid-late May.) Just send us an email or give us a call if you're interested or have any questions.**</em></div>anniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01665192643093015110noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3731809874720968692.post-46347762560590314342011-03-03T09:30:00.001-05:002011-03-03T09:34:46.770-05:00Introducing...<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjHNezGJnkw9r-0hWksw_2GRVTankeKXOVhR2cfhLTJeIlxLeS5IncvnuhEo83TxWpVVPnIFJP_eU18G3ATdT5RIdGP_eauVfA0ZiiPcR5QvXdjpBvb0oGm73Fa90aHEsb_heCm13VEwt1/s1600/pioneer_hill_farm_ltd_medium.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5579636415084900466" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: pointer; HEIGHT: 320px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjHNezGJnkw9r-0hWksw_2GRVTankeKXOVhR2cfhLTJeIlxLeS5IncvnuhEo83TxWpVVPnIFJP_eU18G3ATdT5RIdGP_eauVfA0ZiiPcR5QvXdjpBvb0oGm73Fa90aHEsb_heCm13VEwt1/s400/pioneer_hill_farm_ltd_medium.jpg" border="0" /> </a>It is official: We are a farm! Or are in the process of (re)creating one. 180 years ago when this land was settled it was farmed by the family who traveled to it by ox cart, who built this house. It is exciting to be returning a portion of the original property to its roots.<br /><br />Depending on how you look at it, this is either a few months or years in the making. We started seriously considering the option of starting a farm business last Fall and were able to participate in a class through the Cuyahoga Valley National Park's <a href="http://www.cvcountryside.org/">Countryside Conservancy</a> in November that gave us a framework in which to explore the possibility further. But more fully, this is a progression from our years of growing interest in homesteading, sustainable, simple living, and being involved in the process of growing and raising our own food and more recently being able to share some of this food with others as well.<br /><br />Our decision to take this step has several motivations, on both personal and societal levels.<br /><br />At the most basic level, we enjoy this work. It is what we wish we had more time to do. It is what gives us a sense of satisfaction, of having done something of value. It feels real and good. Our hope is that in the future we will be successful enough for both Jim and I to be able to work full-time on the farm. To be able to integrate our work and family lives. For the time being it will be my project, with Jim's help as much as he is able on top of his current work.<br /><br />As we've gotten satisfaction from growing and raising food for ourselves, so also we have felt satisfaction at being able to provide friends and family with some of our extras. Our current food system in this country is rapidly reaching the point (or, you could argue has already reached the point) of unsustainability. The need for more small farms using sustainable methods of production, producing food for local markets is growing rapidly. For us to start a small farm, then, is an opportunity to do our part in changing the food system for the better, to meet the need for good quality, sustainable and local food in our surrounding communities, and for us to put our skills and passions to better use.<br /><br />As our farm - far from the 150 acres it was at one time - is just under 3 acres and about two thirds wooded, we face some unique challenges. By necessity we will have diverse products and within those we will have the opportunity to learn how to work intensively and efficiently. We are excited to learn as we go how to make our farm as closed a cycle as possible - using the land as efficiently as possible, using outputs from one enterprise as inputs in another, finding the ways that different systems work together and even enhance each other.<br /><br />This year we are starting with some basic products that we have experience in: a market garden, chickens for eggs and meat, honey, maple syrup. We will be planting berries this year, and preparing for a small orchard as well. Several other possibilities are on the table for later in the year or next year as well, awaiting more research and getting the basics underway. We're also exploring options for the "off season" that might use some of our other skills.<br /><br />It is an exciting time, and a time of held breath and crossed fingers. With Spring just around the corner we are gearing up quickly. Chicks have been ordered with plans for additional orders soon, seed catalogs have been poured over and soon there will be seedlings sprouting ...somewhere..., bees have been inspected once (one hive gone, the other now fortified with extra honey), the layers are laying and the sap is running.<br /><br />We are working on a farm website which will include a blog if you'd like to follow us as we build this new venture. We hope to share it with you, as community is an essential part of this journey: what makes it all the richer and more full of life.anniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01665192643093015110noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3731809874720968692.post-56679325157681484472011-03-02T18:11:00.006-05:002011-03-03T09:26:22.368-05:00On Having Disappeared<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjy9g_xkAXsVnhmstdB9ji5MKJ4BxbknvyhDmrBFvtIo4pmE-fnqyGUyUgnWrlrmw0CnovyYf87D0T6sbmthmU4dgmLg5r8w2gZMEpsEChCUgC_tRn-C_ENe1ltKMTLnspCc1HNfvbi64_z/s1600/006.3.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5579859746570947330" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 234px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 320px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjy9g_xkAXsVnhmstdB9ji5MKJ4BxbknvyhDmrBFvtIo4pmE-fnqyGUyUgnWrlrmw0CnovyYf87D0T6sbmthmU4dgmLg5r8w2gZMEpsEChCUgC_tRn-C_ENe1ltKMTLnspCc1HNfvbi64_z/s320/006.3.jpg" border="0" /></a>For the past few months this blog has been silent as we hunkered down for the roughest winter in recent history. If we've been silent, it hasn't been for lack of material. It's true what they say - the first year of preschool is havoc on the immune system. Between the boys and myself, I've lost track of the number of doctor visits and trips to the pharmacy for one antibiotic or another.<br /><br />It has been a challenge to say the least.<br /><br />I wouldn't jinx myself and say that the worst is over, but we are finally to that point in the winter where a change begins to come. Subtly, startlingly. There is a new smell, a greater aliveness to the air. We are teased with a few warm days and visions green (if sodden) grass. Sap runs.<br /><br />Hope begins to seem entirely more reasonable.<br /><br />And so: apologies for the winter hiatus from this space. It could not be helped, for (our last shred of) sanity's sake. We hope to be here more regularly going forward, though perhaps not as frequently as for much of last year. There is a reason for that, so stay tuned, and we'll share more soon. For now, may you be graced with the hope of Spring coming where ever you find yourself today.anniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01665192643093015110noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3731809874720968692.post-19311431595531678912011-02-28T21:11:00.003-05:002011-02-28T22:07:08.944-05:00Birthday Boys<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEha9q_zF859R4lo1UCS3zrGJmkNwGc-hqp9RLXClHQnJIvH_UxC888uzVwOvSECjqM8RaOKFbuTRFUcx7IJ1I4i39Hs_L2rQwjPwyyFHBs_q8dbA0q7uZi75U0HQcOHFp4Z6EmMiv6XGLhk/s1600/100.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5578932792014252322" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 274px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEha9q_zF859R4lo1UCS3zrGJmkNwGc-hqp9RLXClHQnJIvH_UxC888uzVwOvSECjqM8RaOKFbuTRFUcx7IJ1I4i39Hs_L2rQwjPwyyFHBs_q8dbA0q7uZi75U0HQcOHFp4Z6EmMiv6XGLhk/s400/100.JPG" border="0" /></a><br />Four years ago last Tuesday Drew and Garrett decided their time had arrived no matter what anyone else had to say about it. They turned our world upside down with their determined, beautiful, full of life selves and four years later are still at it.<br /><br />They are growing into young boys, every day more independent, always curious, always learning and exploring. <br /><br />Garrett is fascinated by letters and numbers, gets lost in his own world singing songs he's learned and songs he makes up. He is determined and independent and can get so excited telling stories that you think he might pop. He can be a wonderful and surprisingly competent helper, generous and loving. <br /><br />Drew is a cuddler beyond compare. He can sit curled up with someone listening to books for long stretches and not tire of it. He is sweet, serious and a ham. He is an explainer and a reminder, an observer and thinker. His bed overflows with "friends" and he will talk to (and expect a response from) just about anything, animate or not. <br /><br />Together they explore their world and process all the new things they are learning, like as not through a game they create. They fight all out one moment and the next (or the next or the next...) moment all is forgotten and a new idea has them off and running. They hold hands when they are unsure and work each other into frenzies of silliness.<br /><br />As they will gladly and exuberantly tell you, they are FOUR! And like each year behind us, this new one will surely be filled with excitement, exhaustion, joy, frustration, amazement and newness for all.anniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01665192643093015110noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3731809874720968692.post-2994367851307141392010-12-01T20:30:00.000-05:002010-12-01T20:30:21.624-05:00Integration<div>The weeks have flown by this month and this past Monday was our last class in the "Exploring the Small Farm Dream" workshop we've been taking. It has been an intensive process of reflecting on what it is that we want to do, why and how. Four weeks later, we still have quite a lot of research to do, and many decisions to make. We're faced with the unique challenge of starting a (profitable) farm on a relatively small, largely wooded property. Which is at turns an exciting challenge and a (seemingly) crazy idea.</div><br /><div>While we don't yet know just what this farm will look like, or quite how we can make it work, this class has been a confirmation that this is the path we both want to be attempting to walk. Early on, before the first session, we were asked to fill out a worksheet describing our dream. One of the questions was especially telling: It asked how an agricultural business would become integrated with the rest of our life's pursuits. Our responses were the same: it would allow us to <em>follow</em> our lives' pursuits. Making our living from our land and hands would give us the opportunity to do the things that give us the most enjoyment, the most fulfillment. It would allow us to stop being constantly pulled in two (or more) directions. For both of us the idea of being able to live an integrated life: where we are able to work and live together, providing for ourselves (in real goods and income), is the goal. To be sure, as the boys continue to grow, we will still have the challenge of juggling their needs with the needs of a growing farm. But to close that gap, to integrate "work" and "the rest of our life's pursuits", is a dream worth pursuing for us, and hopefully, with a lot of hard work and creativity, one we can bring into being.</div><br /><div>The next month or two will continue to be filled with research and thinking and decision-making as we look ahead to the coming year and what we hope to accomplish. In some ways, this is a rough time of year, as Advent starts and Christmas is just ahead, to be attempting to focus intently on such a prospect. On the other hand, perhaps it is not such a bad time after all: to integrate this season of waiting, anticipation, preparation for the celebration of Christmas with the waiting, anticipation and preparation of fleshing out this dream of ours for the year(s) to come. </div><br /><div> </div><em>...if we are to wait, let us wait in purpose;</em><br /><div><em>...if we are to watch, let us watch in wisdom;</em></div><em>...if we are to expect, let us expect in hope.</em><br /><div><em>May we be prepared. May we be ready.<span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><br /><span style="font-size:78%;">(...a meditation from our church bulletin this past Sunday)</span><br /></span></span></em></div><div> </div>anniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01665192643093015110noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3731809874720968692.post-67043503290813921802010-11-10T20:30:00.000-05:002010-11-10T20:32:05.825-05:00Survival ModeIf it has been quiet here on the blog over the past two months, it is due to the reality of living in survival mode around here. For someone who does not glide through transitions and big events gracefully, it has been a rough road. Dishes have overflowed the sink -for days- and laundry the baskets, chairs and dryer. The table has been glimpsed only rarely and I am convinced this chaos has created the exact conditions needed by Drew and Garrett's toys to multiply unchecked. That is the only explanation for the amount of floor space covered by them.<br /><br />I find that I just, literally, can't think straight when in the midst of such chaos, and all but the most basic functions cease, while ice cream consumption and amount of time spent curled up on the couch increase. Curled up hoarding comfort where it can be found.<br /><br />We are coming out the other side now, hoping for a bit of a pause, a bit of breathing room before we move into the holiday season. And it is good. Yet at the same time as we are collecting ourselves, and beginning to put things back in order and prepare for the winter, we are still living in the unknown. Work continues to be a struggle and <a href="http://demkos.blogspot.com/2010/07/cant-hack-it.html">this schedule and way of living</a> unsustainable. And so we are living in the reality of knowing a change is necessary but not knowing quite what that change will look like or when. Living in survival mode, in the meantime.<br /><br />This month we are taking an exciting, testing-the-waters step toward learning more about one possibility, something that is a dearly held dream in our home. We were able to enroll in a workshop given through the <a href="http://www.cvcountryside.org/">Countryside Conservancy</a> (a great organization!) to explore what it would take to start a small farm enterprise on our little homestead. It is a beginning, a hope, and maybe even a viable path to tread. And if nothing else, once we complete the workshop, by request from Drew, we all get farmer hats. That's got to count for something...<br /><div> </div>anniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01665192643093015110noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3731809874720968692.post-14545634169716615302010-11-05T10:55:00.002-04:002010-11-05T11:02:09.957-04:00Harvest Day<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgipWLxgVUTibjIrn-H-FCihkptm1cBZJRW_E1gJRLGssGE9TU3WCKFK1DNBSziq-cO4VQHq89QnC27qB1aWTXuAgr9rNbcewZ9CfoFLQuJyZhc94b8viWiVFif4c4bGtRyWqupXqRKKbWQ/s1600/144.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5536081068897604546" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 200px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 150px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgipWLxgVUTibjIrn-H-FCihkptm1cBZJRW_E1gJRLGssGE9TU3WCKFK1DNBSziq-cO4VQHq89QnC27qB1aWTXuAgr9rNbcewZ9CfoFLQuJyZhc94b8viWiVFif4c4bGtRyWqupXqRKKbWQ/s200/144.JPG" border="0" /></a>There has been a lot going on around the homestead lately, one of the biggest things being the harvesting of our flock of meat chickens a couple weeks ago. When we began this project, we invited anyone who was interested to put in an order and to join us, when the time came, for the processing. Our plan was to take a Saturday to harvest the birds and then celebrate with a harvest dinner at the end.<br /><br />The road to harvest day was a pretty <a href="http://demkos.blogspot.com/2010/10/meat-chicken-project-update.html">rough one </a>and we arrived at the appointed day with 12 birds left (three had been processed throughout the week). Four of the six families/individuals who had requested birds were able to participate, either helping to process or helping in the kitchen to prepare the meal. All told, things went very smoothly. It may seem a strange thing to say given what we were doing, but it was a truly good day. We had a house and yard full of people who wanted to work together to provide food for themselves and others. Even though the reason we were all there was the death of 12 chickens, it was a day full of life: kids running around (inside, for the little ones...), grown ups working together to prepare a meal, or to process chickens to be saved up for the winter. It was chaotic and rather stressful at times, but it was real, satisfying and joyful.<br /><br />We have been on a journey that started, perhaps, ten years ago with our college trip to Honduras, of becoming aware of where our food comes from. In recent years it has grown increasingly important to us to not only have a better understanding of where and how our food is produced* and to purchase foods with that in mind, but also to actually produce a portion of that food ourselves. That's easy with vegetables (well... sometimes more than others), but it was important to us, since we eat meat, to experience raising and processing our own meat as well. That experience would give us the chance to do a few things: 1. raise the chickens the way we think they deserve to be raised, with good, anti-biotic- and hormone-free food, as much room to move around as they would like, and a chance to live outside in nature rather than in an enclosed environment, 2. be present and involved in the entire process from beginning to end - both the good and the difficult parts - to have first hand experience of what it means to eat chicken, and 3. to be able to provide some friends and family with good, well-raised meat and to have the opportunity to share in the harvest with many of them.<br /><br />It was definitely a learning experience for us, and we're coming away from it not just with a freezer-full of chicken, but with greater knowledge going forward. We made some mistakes, and next time will opt for a different breed of chicken (the breed we raised this time was the same as the commercial operations raise, and though they had a life exponentially better than those in commercial operations do, we still ended up feeling sad for them due to their breeding which favors greatest meat production in the shortest amount of time irregardless of body structure), but we also found affirmation in the satisfaction we feel at having been able to raise and process our own meat and in the sense of community that we had the chance to experience on harvest day which was a rich reward for all the hard and sometimes difficult work.<br /><br /><em><span style="font-size:85%;">*If you are interested in learning more about where and how your food is produced, some of the best resources that I've found are the following: <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Omnivores-Dilemma-Natural-History-Meals/dp/0143038583/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1288968584&sr=1-1">The Omnivore's Dilemma</a> by Michael Pollan, <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Fast-Food-Nation-Dark-All-American/dp/0060838582/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1288968718&sr=1-1">Fast Food Nation</a> by Eric Schlosser and the film <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Food-Inc-Eric-Schlosser/dp/B0027BOL4G/ref=sr_1_1?s=dvd&ie=UTF8&qid=1288968774&sr=1-1">Food, Inc</a>.</span></em>anniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01665192643093015110noreply@blogger.com0