The best laid plans of mice and men...

As a fiercely rational and logical being, I try to maximize my chances of succeeding in anything I set out to do. To succeed, I develop a plan, however simple or complex, to ensure I'm doing what is necessary to achieve my goals. The ironic thing is that most of these plans lead to some sort of disappointment. At least, for me they generally do, since I'm so bad at predicting the future.

I like to think I'm pretty good at planning ahead, and in one sense, I am. I'm good at making plans ahead of time - I usually have a plan. In another sense, I'm not very good at all. My plans are generally lacking something. There are just too many variables outside of the scope of my control for things to go according to plan. But the very act of having the expectation sets into motion the possibilities of disappointment or fulfillment. This is not an act characterized by acceptance or openness because it is so severely limited by my inability to imagine many possibilities.

I've been thinking about this lately, mostly because one big thing in my life is not going at all according to plan. I won't go into all the details, but let's just say things at work are not as stable as I thought. (This has nothing to do with the state of the economy, though some of you may be in a similar situation due to that fiasco.) There is a lot of change going on very quickly, which is tough on everyone, and there is still a lot of uncertainty. This is so disappointing personally because I worked hard to get where I am and work for the company I do. It was part of the plan. And because of circumstances outside of my control, things aren't going according to plan. Instead I'm in the middle of a mess. And when careful planning and execution lands you in the middle of a mess, you aren't too keen on hatching another plan too soon. At least I'm not.

So what will I do? I'm thinking I'll play it by ear. Step back and give up some control. Put things on cruise and see if I can't relax and enjoy the rapidly changing scenery. And maybe when the snow falls so heavy and so soon, I won't worry much about the leaves in the gutters I didn't get to cleaning out. Instead I'll try to see the beauty of an early winter landscape. And maybe I'll experience a touch of the wonder with which Drew and Garrett see this world each day.

Sounds like a plan. (Dammit, I did it again.)