Stuff :: Less Stuff

Back a while (here), I wrote a bit about how we made the decision to put the farm idea away for a time. Things had gotten out of control and it was time to pause, take a breath and address some basics. Our life was far from intentional and simple. (Was...?) One of the areas we badly needed to address was the amount of stuff that had accumulated all around us. It was closing in on us - especially me.

For a long time now, Jim and I have been operating under the idea of "simple living". Which has so many books and magazines and articles, written about it by now that it is no longer "simple". And maybe when you get into it, it really isn't from the start anyway, but that's another topic. Suffice it to say that for all of our years together we have embraced the value of living simply: among other things, living with and needing less stuff. And before we had kids, I think we did pretty well with that. Since then, however, it's become more of a theoretical proposition. And I'm not just talking about all the baby and now child paraphernalia, though of course that's included. But as things got more hectic, it got easier and easier to not notice the piles cropping up here and there, the toys that were much easier to leave out under foot than put away at the end of a long day, the stuff that sat around on any and all flat surfaces not immediately put away that quickly blended into the landscape... You get the picture.

Now, I've never been one to keep up with the dusting, or keeping the counters cleared off every day - more of the "company's coming, time for ninja cleaning!" sort. But over the Winter and Spring, things really got out of hand and I started to feel a bit claustrophobic, on edge whenever I was around home.

And so, we are making some changes. Drew and Garrett's toys got an overhaul, we took a couple car loads of stuff to the boys' school rummage sale - and then the thrift store - and most impressive so far, cleaned out the porch. The whole house is on the list, a room a week till the end of the summer (loosely following the plan in this book). It feels so very good to be making a difference, clearing out the stuff, bringing some intentionality and order - simplicity - back to our home, creating a little more space to breathe and to be.

First Things First

Sometimes you rush headlong into something only to be brought up short. Sometimes plans change. Such has proved to be the case for us as we charged forward with our plans for turning our homestead into a farm business this year.

We reached a point around mid-April where it became clear that something had to give. It - our plan, our to-do lists, our health and sanity - was not working. Far from enjoying and getting satisfaction from the work as I had in the past and had expected to going forward, I began dreading it. Resenting it. Instead of being a positive force in our lives it had become a drain and a source of anxiety and frustration.

I struggled with the worry that I was giving up too soon - that I simply wasn't tough enough. In theory I was fully aware of the time, effort and sacrifices that would be involved when I signed on for this (though I think, a bit like parenthood, you don't really know how tough a go it'll be until you're in the midst of it), and believed I could handle it - that the rewards would be sufficient and the fulfillment enough to replace the energy spent. So I struggled, telling myself that this is what I wanted, what I was supposed to be getting satisfaction from; that I was just being a wimp now that the going was getting tough. That can be a pretty convincing argument for me, supported by numerous examples of others who are doing it with much less angst.

After some discussions between Jim and I - during which we came to the realization that we were each pursuing this particular path primarily for reasons related to the other - and giving some thought to where we find ourselves after the tough Winter we had, it seems more clear to me that it's not a particular wimpyness on my part, but a case of needing to put things in their place. First things first.

This Winter and the time spent frantically trying to keep up this Spring have made quite clear the fact that there are too many basic needs and facts of life that have been too long ignored or pushed to the background in favor of the latest great project or simply the frantic pace of life. Life since Garrett and Drew were born has been lived primarily in crisis mode: two inadequately prepared parents trying our best to adapt to our new reality and the constant changes it entailed (entails). And that, among other things, has left us spent, drained. Talking good talk, but honestly, not living in a consistent manner. And that has taken its toll.

As I began reading the book Simplicity Parenting (which I highly recommend) this Spring, this sentence jumped off the page:

"Making do, flying by the seat of our pants, barely seeing one another, always improvising, revolving doors, crazy schedules, unchecked emotions, strangers in the same house."

and another:

"We are facing an enormous problem in our lives today. It's so big we can hardly see it, and it's right in front of our face all day, every day. We're all living too big lives, crammed from top to toe with activities, urgencies and obligations that seem absolute. There's no time to take a breath, no time to look for the source of the problem." (Sarah Susanka, "The Not So Big Life")

It is time for a breath. To take on less rather than more, and spend some time caring for ourselves, reflecting, and finding our way back to the intentionally simple life we want to live. Time to find new rhythms to our days and weeks that make sense and feed us where we are, not where we think we should be or wish we were, or might be down the road. This is a novel concept around here and will take some getting used to for sure. I don't know quite what it will look like, but we are agreed that at this point in time it does not include starting up and running a farm as a business.

That being said, we still have our meat birds which will be ready for purchase in a couple weeks (Memorial Day weekend), and have decided for now at least to keep the layer chicks we ordered this Spring, so come the end of summer we will have eggs aplenty and then some (dozens to be exact). And all those layers will be needing a proper coop to call home pretty soon.

So we have a few loose ends to tie up. But beyond that, my hope is that we will be stepping back, focusing inward a bit more and getting our house in order in the months ahead - quite literally, and figuratively as well. And then, better grounded, moving forward, whatever direction that might take.

Keeping up with the Joneses, Simple Living Style

There is an ironic place I've been bumping up against lately, which is this: The whole point (well, one of them) of living the life we are striving to live is to eschew the whole notion of "Keeping up with the Joneses". To exit that whole rat race in favor of a freer, less frenetic, more personally authentic way of life. To be able to live not focused on what we need to obtain, but on what (and who) we have and are, and on tending and creating the place and time in which we find ourselves.

Yet lately I've been noticing that "Keeping up with the Joneses" is alive and well in the sustainable living sphere: In a meeting of moms striving to live with a holistic, sustainable mindset, a discussion of the best organic lawn care company to remove clover from a lawn; My afternoon, searching for the "right" rain gear to send with the boys to preschool and the "right" meal to cook for new friends coming over for dinner later this week. I have this uncomfortable, nagging feeling lately that while we may be in a pretty good place (according to our hopes) in terms of not striving after "things", perhaps there is a different level of keeping up that has a very real presence in my life: one not comprised of things, but of actions taken, decisions made.

And when it comes to the boys: We believe strongly in limiting to as great an extent as possible their exposure to advertisements and the madness of kid-centered brands and character franchises. We try to teach them that it is better to have fewer things and to value the work of creating and tending things oneself, of spending time outdoors or making up a game together over sitting in front of the TV (with a few exceptions a week, full disclosure). But are we just teaching them to value and seek after a different set of things: the "sustainably-superior" version of the Joneses?

Maybe, in reality, there is just no getting around some extent or manner of yearning to keep up with our peers - current or desired. I imagine it has been hardwired into us from the beginning. So perhaps the goal to strive for is not necessarily to become immune to or rise above the impulse, but to be aware of it when and how it shows itself at various times in our lives and to strive to direct, rather than be directed by, it. To be aware, to be intentional.

Bounty

Our Saturday was filled with simple goodness:

Picking...

...and eating, blueberries;

harvesting the first honey from our bees (one frame, about 4 lbs, give or take?);

and eating a tasty meal made entirely (excluding the butter) from local or homemade food, some from our own garden.

Tend and Create

Recently I was asked to describe how I feel, what I experience, when I engage in two of my favorite pastimes. These two activities, while both fulfilling, are complimentary. I can lose all sense of time doing either, yet one - gardening - is more calming or reflective, while the other - sewing - involves focus and creative thinking, problem solving. It was interesting to spell out, but at the same time, not too surprising. It makes sense that the activities you enjoy would be complimentary, meet different needs.

Several days later, I was thinking about that conversation and realized that when it comes down to it, those two activities for me are about tending and creating. Tending the plants that we are (trying) to grow. Preparing a place for them, tending to their needs for nourishment first as seeds, then as small but growing plants, (occasionally) pulling the weeds growing up all around so they might have an easier time of it, picking the ripe vegetables to encourage the plants to keep growing (not to mention enjoying their goodness...), and finally cutting down the spent plants to provide nourishment for future gardens. And in my sewing, creating. Taking fabric and thread, a pattern or the idea of a pattern and using my skills and hands to make something useful and/or pleasing to look at. To figure, cut, figure again, join, solve problems as they come and (usually) end up with results I can see, hold in my two hands and have the satisfaction of having created from a pile of assorted materials.

To tend and create.

I think that is a mighty fine way to live and to view the activities that occupy my days. Because when I think about it, that's the basis for most of what I do. I tend: to growing things - plants, boys, chickens, to our home (Isn't that a nicer way to look at tackling the piles of laundry and dishes, cobwebs and coatings of dust on anything that doesn't move? I must remember that more often...), to finances, to relationships. I create: meals, sewing projects, a comfortable, relatively peaceful space to live (some creations are more successful than others, at times).

What I like about this realization, what resonates with me is that these are simple, intentional ways of being, to tend and to create, and yet there is so much space within them to harbor all the complexities that keep life interesting. For me, the complexity comes naturally, it's the simplicity I hope to learn to focus on and see more as I go about my days.

Joy Is

Running in the rain...

...towels warm from the dryer...

...and a rainbow in the (future) orchard.

Evolution

Thinking about the way forward has had me thinking about how it is I and we have come to the place we are, and where exactly that is. Not necessarily our home, though that is a reflection of the place we are, but the place of mind and perspective on how we want to live. Without really being aware of it, there has been a definite evolution over the years since we first started out together. From a focus on being ecologically minded, environmentally conscious as a means to an end, we've moved to a place of simple, sustainable living, as a means to being environmentally conscious, but more than that as well.

What do we mean by "simple, sustainable living"? At the place we are now, and the vision we have that we would like to live true to, it involves a number of things. It means living simply in the sense of (trying to) not fill our lives and home with lots of material things. The whole "less is more" idea. And in trying to live simply, to focus on living authentically and with a greater understanding and knowledge of where the things we do have come from and the impact they make. In some cases that means making or doing things for ourselves, because how much more value does a plate of fresh-cooked vegetables or a plate of scrambled eggs have when you know exactly where they came from and actually put in your own energy to help produce, or how much more is the winter chill chased away by a fire made with wood that you cut down, split and stacked yourselves than paying the oil (or gas or electric...) company? It brings us untold satisfaction to do these and other things for ourselves, to live creatively. In some cases that means voting with our dollars, to buy things that will last, are produced locally, or will have added benefit (i.e. fair trade items, organic foods...) A side effect, so to speak, of these choices is more sustainable living, a smaller footprint, our small vote for a better way of living and more sustainable future. And, while not the entire picture, that is not a small thing.

The statement on our blog "Intentionally simple, because complexity just makes us tired" is somewhat paradoxical. As our perspective has evolved to focus more on living simply and authentically, sustainably, our lives have at the same time become more simple but also more complex: growing our own vegetables, raising chickens for eggs, tapping trees to make maple syrup, baking our own bread instead of picking those things up at the grocery store, cutting down trees and splitting wood to help heat the house instead of just turning up the thermostat and calling for another oil delivery, etc. Those things all, undoubtedly, make our daily lives more complex.

A big influence for me in all this has been learning more about the food industry. In all the reading I've done, one thing that stands out to me very clearly is how interconnected things are. Within the food industry, but from there expanding in ever-widening circles until there is little that is left untouched by how we as a country (largely) produce our food. That, I think, is perhaps the major way my thinking has evolved over the last ten years or so, to understand more fully how complex the issue(s) of living sustainably are and how it's just not possible to look at one facet in isolation. So in trying to be intentionally simple, we are opened up to a whole new world of complexities. But, somehow, I find these complexities to be comforting and real, affirming, simple. Such that choices you make can lead to a win-win situation: when I pull a loaf of homemade bread out of the oven, or cook up a pot of garden fresh broccoli, I get to enjoy the tasty goodness, I know what is in the bread, and it's all ingredients I can pronounce and have in my kitchen, I know that the broccoli was grown without any chemicals, and I know that at least for that moment in that admittedly small way, I am voting with my time and resources for a way of life that I believe in. It is a simple act with rich and complex effects and implications. This is what we are trying, quite imperfectly, but always learning, to do.

Today we labored

Left to right: Drew, 2 quarts peaches, 1.5 loaves of our favorite homemade bread (formerly 2 loaves) , dried bananas, dried pears (in the jar), 6 quarts of pears (formerly 7, but one went to the neighbor who gave us peppers for the...), 5 pints of hot pepper salsa, drying peaches, and Garrett.

Bonus tip: "Hands on head" game goes a long way towards saving some of the dried fruit for another day.

Spring '09 Slideshow

Spring has sprung. The garden is tilled/dug. Most of it is planted. They boys continually want to be outside, which is fine if it isn't already 9pm. It's a good time. We hope you enjoy the pictures.

the birds and the bees

Spring is here, and for now, so is the mud. But soon enough the trees will be clothed in green and there will be an abundance of blooms.

With Spring comes an annual rush of enthusiasm around our house for growing. Our tomato plants are up to 2" tall, the peppers aren't too far behind, and we have a few things we are trying for the first time this year. Annie's indoor snap peas are as tall as I am and we're looking for little white flowers any day now. The two biggest experiments, though, are the birds and the bees.

The Bees:
I took a beginner beekeeper class through the Lorain County Beekeepers Association and am expecting two packages of bees on Monday, April 27. The plan is to establish two colonies in hives at the back of our property to help pollinate the garden and provide local raw honey. I'm fortunate enough to know an experienced beekeeper in Bud Fawks, a friend of the family with enough equipment to get us started. He has recently been wanting to keep bees again and was looking for a place to set up some hives. I love it when things come together. Honeybees are having a rough time right now and the success of this endeavor is far from guaranteed due to mites, fungi, beetles, bacteria and even viruses (which may be linked to Colony Collapse Disorder). But we'll give it a go and see how it pans out. With any luck, we'll have two strong hives next spring and plenty of honey next fall. If you have any experience as an apiarist and want to "talk bees", send me an email.

The Birds:

Annie and I have been interested in eating more locally and living more sustainably and, in our reading and discussions with others, keep coming across the idea of keeping your own chickens for meat and eggs. Everyone says it's so easy, entertaining, and rewarding. With this project has come a lot of research. Annie took a class at a local farm to learn the ins and outs. I have read a few books, checked out online discussions, and researched local zoning restrictions. Together we've planned a coop layout, decided on a flock size and chosen which varieties of chickens we'd like to keep. We still have to do the physical work of converting half of our shed to a coop and fencing in the run. I don't think I've ever personally met the girls who have laid my breakfast. It should be fun. We will pick up eight one-or-two-day-old girls on June 22. They'll start laying about 5 months after that. Drew and Garrett are pretty excited about the prospect of some baby chickens.

The Phish:
And our favorite band, Phish, has re-united for a tour after a 5 year hiatus. We're going to see them live in June, just before we get chickens.

The days are just packed.

Off and running

After a brief hiatus, I really want to get back to writing on the blog. Due to busy-ness at work, with the family, and trying to get some progress on the garden project, we have lots of updates, but haven't written them down for you. Here's an overview:

1. Garret is walking pretty solidly. He holds his hands up like he's going to pounce on you and smiles very big.
2. Drew has started walking back and forth between mommy and daddy. Other things are not as motivational. Just don't try to stop him once he's started the back and forth routine!
3. My (Jim) work is very busy
4. Annie's work (stay at home mom) is ever more busy as these boys get more mobile!
5. We took a family trip to the zoo. We're planning a trip to the art museum on Friday 5/31/08 (Medieval arms and armor display ends June 1)
   
6. The 2008 garden is mostly in!

I'll share a bit more about the garden project. You may recall this year we planned a massive expansion in support of our pursuit of a more self-sufficient and affordable lifestyle. Instead of building a new fence every year to keep pace with our growing garden habit, we decided to fence in a big area and grow into it. Here's our gardening timeline:

• 2001 - 2003 we grew veggies in containers on our apartment balcony
• 2004 we got a house, but still only planted in containers due to so many projects
  
• 2005 we dug and planted a small garden in the back yard, 7'x7'
• 2006 we dug and planted an expansion, resulting in a 15'x7' area (doubled)
  
• 2007 we planted the same size garden, but started digging and improving an additional 15'x9' (doubled again)
• 2008 we planted the 15'x16' area dug in 2007, and are covering an additional approx. 37'x22' area to eliminate the grass and improve the soil for future expansion, resulting in (drum roll please....) 52'x22' of garden space (a 4.75x increase!).

Two things about growing in our area, we have heavy clay soil and a huge deer population. The clay soil requires adding huge quantities of organic material which we mainly get from lawn clippings, leaves, and composted kitchen scraps. A deer-proof fence is also a must for us. We've had seedlings and established small trees be crushed or eaten. We put posts in the ground for the 2008 fence, but did not finish it in time for planting. We were looking at our sad little seedlings we started in March and felt bad that they weren't moved to larger pots, so we stuck them in the ground and propped our new fence materials around them in temporary fashion. (We frequently watch "temporary" change to "semi-permanent", so who knows when we'll actually finish the fence.)There will be a gate by the big square log, which, along with the pine tree, will be removed. Note Annie digging the last of the planting area for this year, and the boys in their outdoor playpen, which they adore.
This is the other end, from the back of the garden. Our barn to the left looks awfully far away! There are two other fences in the picture behind our garden. The neighbor has a property fence, and then a picket fence around their garden. Our garden fence will run close to the property line fence with enough room to mow the little strip that remains.

We have already planted corn, green beans, drying beans*, snap peas, shelling peas*, broccoli, carrots, leeks*, potatos*, and cucumbers. (The * denotes a new veggie we've not grown before!) We only have tomatoes and green peppers left to plant, and it's a bit cold for those yet. Annie has planted a wide variety of herbs and lettuce for us in the raised planters on the deck, too! I'll save the stories about our fruit growing endeavors for another post.

The Demkos get blogging

So here we are. Four Demkos, trying to figure out how to be a family. Trying to live simply, without excess in a culture of excess. Trying to live intentionally in a society given to whim. Trying to be true to ourselves in world concerned about what everyone else is doing.

And sometimes we even succeed. A bit.

This blog is created to keep family and friends up to speed with Jim, Annie, Drew and Garrett during the busiest time in our lives (to date). When everyone else is asking to hear stories and see pictures, and we are too tired or overwhelmed to make it happen individually, we can turn here. You can turn here, maybe for short personal updates, maybe long diatribes about things we have no cotrol over, maybe for cute pictures of our boys. We hope.

I'm sure we won't update this daily, but I hope that we'll update it more than once. If not, it was a good thought.

I hope this will be a place of honest and open communication. My Dad has always reminded me, "Wherever you go, there you are." This is where we've gone. This is where we are.